[neumann_alfred]

I lost my father as a kid because he crashed into a truck that broke down on a freeway in fog and had defective tail-lights. Maybe there is something he could have done, but what exactly could I have done? Mind you, I am not complaining at all, and I'd rather loose a cool guy than live with an asshole father. But I also saw people die of cancer, and not just the obvious "smoke, get lung cancer" kind. And I could go on.

I still agree with the blog post and loved it to bits. Simply because blaming others seems to be a default position for many (I know it often is for me), and it truly is a trap. Seeing it from another perspective is refreshing and vital. And it is always, always true (that it's our fault) when it comes to our inner state, to how we feel and think about what happens, and, last but never least, of how we treat others. Of that we are truly the masters -- but even there you could mention deception, (involuntary intake of) drugs or brain defects. So, it's not that simple.

Life can also be cruel and random and there is fuck all you can do about it other than suffer and/or die. Accepting that and still saying yes to life is kind of a superpower, too.

[skybrian]

I think this goes to show that how much you have control over depends on who you are and what it is. The CEO of a company doesn't control everything but he has substantial control over the fate of the business. It's not helpful for him to dwell on things he can't control.

Traffic accidents are the sort of thing that, as a society, there is plenty that can be done to improve our chances that we're not doing yet. There are also a lot of things you can do as an individual to improve your changes (driving fast in fog is obviously a bad idea even though people do it all the time). But of course you can't control what other people do.