Ask HN: I've told everyone about my startup and its been harder than I thought

[bunnybomb2]

Im feeling immense pressure . I told everyone about this startup I've been working on, and Its been deteriorating my mental health more and more. Im running out of $$.

I dont want to let everyone down. but I feel too tired to work, but im too tired to embarrass myself and quit. I dont want to quit on my mission.

I feel so alone. I isolated myself from friends and family. I talked to thousands of my users. I dont know what to do.

Would like some advice. Kind of feeling doomful/dreadful

I am pretty young. (mid 20s)

[bhaney]

> I dont want to let everyone down

> I isolated myself from friends and family

I promise your friends and family are more let down by you abandoning them then they would be of your startup failing. Most startups fail!

There are a lot of inspirational startup stories where founders only saw failure and misery ahead, pushed through anyway with great personal sacrifice, and then managed to succeed against all odds. But there's a hundred times as many stories of founders who tried the same thing and just lost it all with nothing to show for it (we don't tell those stories as often). Don't lose your health and loved ones in pursuit of an unlikely business venture. You're young and you can always try again later with this experience under your belt.

[bunnybomb2]

I just dont want to lose. It would be a waste of everything. Thank you

[codingdave]

It isn't winning or losing. It is just a job that either worked out or did not. And not a waste - even if you all you take away from this is experience and knowledge, that is not a waste.

[amazingamazing]

You should watch the movie 100 meters. It is not about tech at all but does give an interesting story about the grind.

[kwertyoowiyop]

“If you’re not winning, you’re learning.”

[austin-cheney]

Starting a business is hard. Jensen Huang said he probably would not have done had he known how hard it would be. Bill Gates also said working those kinds of hours is not for everyone.

In the end you have to want it. The “it” is not any kind of real success, but rather just doing the work, those thousands of tiny accomplishments that nobody else sees. The work spent toiling away making continuous progress on things you aren’t comfortable with, like sales or finances. It’s hard to claim victory over those things when building the product takes all your time and money. That balance are those many tiny things you have to claim victory over. It never gets easier, but it does get more reassuring as your support system grows.

[bunnybomb2]

u r right

[sunnyam]

I'm not sure about your funding situation, but you could always try to get paid employment and switch to working on your business on the side.

Ultimately, the success is based on the strength of the execution and finding product market fit with a big enough market. If you're too burnt out, it sounds like you are hitting some internal limit.

If you have hope (and resources) push through. If you don't, step away, recover and reflect.

If you find yourself passionate about it later on, then you can go right back in!

Being able to construct a story of growth, entrepreneurship and risk is a great one to tell in your 20s and you shouldn't be ashamed.

[bunnybomb2]

I appreciate your words I will reflect

[simonreiff]

Sorry to hear about the stress of being a founder; I also am a solo founder and feel the pressure every day too. For what it's worth, you've already achieved something very special if you have thousands of users. That already shows you are building something that others find genuinely useful, entertaining, or worthwhile. Also, not to minimize your situation, but your age and situation is probably an advantage here. If you pivot to a completely new venture or get a job, you have lots of time to build something else really successful.

I suggest re-engaging with your friends and family. It really will help you figure out what you want out of life and of this ongoing venture. Doing that will help you realize what really matters to you. Perhaps you'll find yourself reinvigorated and will dive back into the work even harder than before. Maybe you'll just have a clearer picture of what your exit strategies might be. Either way, you'll be glad you reconnected with the people who care about you. It's more important to do that than any startup ever could be.

Anyway, wishing you best of luck.

[bunnybomb2]

I will reconnect with friends I have become too focused and its ruined things

-Thank you endlessly

[jfromtheblock]

I feel you! I am a founder, in my 30s currently; I started building at 24.. Sounds like you have users, are they paying for your product? Is there a way to get it to break even?

First, you haven't failed; based on what you shared, you've built something people use. Of course, that might be different from building a sustainable business, but it is not a failure. Most people in the world do not even try to build something, so if anything, you should be proud of yourself.

I've been in your shoes, I had a product people loved to use but were not willing to pay, it was costing me my mental health and my economic stability. I decided to wind it down, it should not cost your life, you are super young and have a lot of time to keep trying things, maybe in the future you can revisit this idea and perhaps it would be a better time for it.

Take care of yourself! Sending good vibes

[desktopentree]

The pressure is real but that's kind of what we sign up for. If it's not working, part of being an entrepreneur is knowing when to quit and avoiding falling into the sunk cost fallacy. Quitting this one project doesn't mean you failed. You will just divert your energy into the next endeavor. They can't all be winners or everyone would do it. Hang in there.

[leandrobon]

Sorry to hear that. I had a similar experience, though without even the user traction you have. The doubts, going to sleep wondering whether it's worth it, feeling like you're wasting your time one day and like you're doing the most important thing in the world the next. I think your first step should be getting back in touch with the people close to you. Do you have a cofounder, or someone helping you? If not, I'm open to lend a hand. Not looking for compensation, prioritizing meaningful work and opportunities.

[kypro]

I'm just going to be honest because lying won't help.

Realistically you will almost certainly fail because almost all startups fail.

There was a post on Indie Hackers many many years ago now where someone looked through all of the projects posted there over the years and found that something like 1% of them succeed (may have been less tbh – it was so long ago).

You are more likely to succeed if you have serious money to throw behind it or you are able to get investment, but if you're just a dude trying to start a businesses online with some savings you're more or less guaranteed to fail statically. This wasn't true of in tech in the 90s and 00s, but things have matured a lot since then. The fact you have users is actually impressive and imo you've already done better than the vast majority do.

I'm saying this because the first thing you should be doing if you're not already is assuming failure with an extremely high confidence. If you have no plan for failure then you need to start coming up with one now.

I've been through this myself. Startups were my life in my late teens and early 20s. I had a breakdown in my mid 20s because after some early success in my teens, I just couldn't get anything to work anymore. I was also isolating myself from friends and family and the realisation that I had basically lost some of the best years of my life behind a screen and text editor for nothing ate away at me.

Quitting is not failure. Here's what you need to do now.

- Come up with plan assuming your startup will fail.

- Decide the point at which you will stop.

- When that time comes execute your plan like a zombie through the pain.

Your emotions will tell to keep going one more day and your plan however good will almost certainly not be what you want to be doing because if it was you'd already be doing it. Just keep going and you'll come out of it in the end.

Good luck. Wishing you the best bro.