You might have unaddressed writing trauma. Just because the abstract isn't dogshit, doesn't mean it isn't templatized mad sloplibs. The numbers, the framing, the wins; itz giving people hives.
Speaking of which, does anyone know a resource that lists these "tells"? I used to notice them all the time, but now that they've permeated 2/3rds of what I see and hear, I'm starting to go a bit numb.