[ndriscoll]

This all has nothing to do with the fact that the comment I replied to is suggesting that somehow actually being better is not meritorious. If your parents, grandparents, and community did know how to raise you better, and you turn out better, you're still better.

The point is we should not point to that and say "you didn't really earn that;" we should point and say "here is the example for others to look to. Everyone be more like them."

Like I had a broken home growing up. The valedictorian had an intact family in a higher social class. I put in no effort, was rude to people for no reason, and was generally not a great person. He worked hard, was friendly to everyone, and was generally a better person along pretty much any metric.

The takeaway from that is not to think "wow that wasn't fair," but to think "how can I try to be more like his parents for my kids?"