Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by srean 14 days ago
> unwritten rules of social play are learned in the process of growing-up.

Could you elaborate. Under which circumstances does one learn these things. Family, surely not. I hope so.

3 comments

> Family, surely not. I hope so

School, workplace, sports club, but yes, family as well.

Children learn how to influence their parents to get what the want, which parent they should put pressure on, which parent should be first to be told about some issue etc.

We don't call it politics as it is just a natural thing, but the principle is the same.

Oh family as well, when going beyond the one household, into the remainig family branches especially if money, property are involved, or going against the house culture and expectations for one's life choices.
I learned this best in university clubs that had elected positions
Ah ! Makes sense. Those places seemed quite toxic and I kept my distance from those.
OOC, if you accept the premise that they would have been a good place to practice/understand this sort of thing, and got a chance to “do over,” would you still keep your distance?
Difficult to answer because I find some of the machinations so distressing. Perhaps it is the way I am wired.

Given the benefits of the knowledge that became apparent later in life, I might have preferred looking on from a distance to understand how things work.

But good question. You made me re-evaluated a choice I had made.