[thatmf]

For some reason when I opened this the sound of a helicopter hovering shook the walls.

> Come September, he will have to walk across town to school on his own.

*THE HORROR*

> But if he's going to be walking around out in the world without me, then a tracking tag won't cut it.

Uhhhhhhhhh. The way this is stated so plainly as if it were self-evident fact is telling. The author longs for the umbilical cord.

> but what if he gets lost?

What if he learns a life lesson, navigation and/or some form of self-reliance or independence?

I just... no wonder Kids Today are so cooked.