[Dylan16807]

> If you do shallow smalltalk (as it is very common in the USA), you signal that you only want a shallow relationship.

That sounds like an extremely obnoxious judgement.

> If you want a deep friendship, better bring something deep to the table.

At some point sure. Are you suggesting launching into deep conversation when you meet someone?

[aleph_minus_one]

> Are you suggesting launching into deep conversation when you meet someone?

I am strongly suggesting not to start with shallow smalltalk, as it is common in the USA.

I would start with serious conversations when I meet someone to get a feeling. But if the "vibe" is right, you can indeed get deep rather soon.

[Dylan16807]

It's very strange to see you simultaneously say that that friendships take longer to develop but also that I'm supposed to avoid shallow talk the entire time even when my friendship is very shallow.

Especially since it's usually Americans that have the reputation for treating strangers overly familiar in conversation.

[aleph_minus_one]

> It's very strange to see you simultaneously say that that friendships take longer to develop but also that I'm supposed to avoid shallow talk the entire time even when my friendship is very shallow.

I don't get your point:

- Avoiding shallow talking means not wasting the other person's time - this is politeness.

- You can also talk about deep topics with people who are outside of your friendzone.

[oblio]

> That sounds like an extremely obnoxious judgement.

Or just a cultural difference.