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by rconti 30 days ago
Proof of work is tricky, IMO. I think I tend to over-prove my work. I'll explain the request, and then mention the first three-or-five-or-whatever things I've tried, including what went wrong. I always thought it was most important to show I'm serious and that I've tried everything I can try before asking for help, but I think this hurts response rates. I think the reality is that most people don't want to read a wall of text before they can begin to engage with the idea of helping you.

I'm trying to inoculate myself against the imaginary idea that I'm an idiot, but the reality is, by the time I get to idea #5, I'm probably grasping at straws. The 5 most obvious solutions might not be someone else's 5. What I need their help with is not coming up with idea #6 in terms of likelihood, but _their_ best first idea -- which might send me in a totally different direction!
2 comments
abdullahkhalids 28 days ago
In text, you have the advantage of putting things in any order, with the assurance that the reader knows exactly how long the message is.

Always start your email to a busy/important person with exactly what you want from them. Within the first two sentences. Then peel the onion, giving details from more important to less important.

This gives the reader opportunity to stop reading at any point having decided to help you or not, with the least waste of their time. In many case, the person can skill your description of your work, and just tell you what to do.

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anitil 29 days ago
I do the same. But the benefit to me is that by the time I've written out the message and checked my work I've usually solved the problem. So it's like rubber-ducking but with social consequences attached which makes my brain actually pay attention.
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rconti 29 days ago
Sometimes I do- But unfortunately usually what happens is I just keep thinking of NEW, less-and-less likely things to work, and never get around to asking for help (or wait too long). What I likely need is a fresh perspective -- someone else's FIRST idea -- not for someone to think of "my" 9th best idea.
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