[crispyambulance]

There is plenty advice around for "how to ask" (really, it's the same if you know the person or not). It all boils down to a Calvinistic "show you're worthy" kind of exercise.

But what about advice for giving help to someone?

There's plenty of ways that giving someone help can go horribly wrong, and I think that it's not uncommon for people to be blindsided by such a request.

[willturman]

A pretty incredible answer to your question comes from a perhaps wholly unexpected source: Hunter S. Thompson, in a letter responding to a friend's request for life advice:

https://fs.blog/hunter-s-thompson-to-hume-logan/

[titanomachy]

What great writing. I should go read more of his stuff.

I’m definitely borrowing the phrase “galloping neurosis” the next chance I get.

[crispyambulance]

Beautiful!

I did have in mind something more like the Socratic method, asking pointed questions of your mentee, guiding them but not pushing them. I suppose that in a weird way that essay is the Hunter S Thompson idea of the socratic method.

I really do think it's important to give thought to HOW to give help.

Especially in the technical communities, there's such an over-emphasis in "asking correctly". It perhaps started with usenet (think Eric S Raymond's INSUFFERABLE FAQ on "How To Ask Questions The Smart Way"), and ended with the persnickety and now thankfully moribund stackoverflow gameified and toxic question-and-answer forum.

[laxpri]

bro wtf. thanks. this letter is so real.I was thinking about how many times he had to reread to make it perfect .