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by ElProlactin 4 hours ago
As reported by The Onion, Secretary of War Pete Hegseth has ordered all of the individuals who became ill to be dishonorably discharged.

"Our armed forces need warriors, not weak losers who can't fight off a little virus," he stated. "You should be able to do 70 pull-ups in a minute and to never succumb to the so-called flu."

2 comments

We can’t really blame anyone these days for genuinely believing what The Onion writes about this administration.
I assume you don’t know what The Onion is. I suppose I can hardly blame you as the Onion struggles to write satire as absurd as reality these days.
Poe's law strikes again, even when you satire The Onion by name.
Or possibly the downvoters don't know what The Onion is..