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Ask HN: Is the hard part of adult friendship the second hangout?
5 points by thehgz 1 hour ago
I have been thinking about a product design problem in adult friendship and keep coming back to one thesis:

Most products are decent at creating first contact. Events, meetups, dating apps, friend apps, group chats, alumni networks, Slack communities, etc.

The part that fails is usually after the first meeting.

Someone has to follow up. Someone has to risk seeming too eager. Someone has to pick a plan. Someone has to coordinate calendars. If nobody does that within a week or two, the connection fades and everyone starts over.

I have been calling this "the second hangout problem."

The product idea is an AI go-between that helps people in one city turn one-off encounters into repeat plans and small groups. It would ask who you would actually want to see again after a meetup or small gathering, check for mutual interest, suggest low-pressure next plans, and help coordinate until the group has enough momentum to organize itself.

I am starting with the Bay Area because density matters. The product is not useful if people cannot realistically meet again.

Questions I am trying to think through:

- Is follow-through actually the bottleneck, or am I underrating discovery? - Would you trust an AI mediator for this if it stayed in a logistical/support role? - Should a product like this limit introductions on purpose to avoid swipe-style disposability? - What would make this feel useful instead of creepy?

Curious how people here have seen adult friendships actually form after the first meeting.

2 comments

yeah, surely the reason why adult friendships have declined since before technology is that they had AI before and now they... wait.

> Curious how people here have seen adult friendships actually form after the first meeting.

you know, by... asking to hang out.

this is the craziest "using a computer to `solve` something that has nothing to do with computers" problem I've seen on here in a minute.

This sounds terrible. I'm sure you'll get loads of funding.