[RiderOfGiraffes]

Personal opinion, based on limited experience.

Essential, unless you want to endure endless complaints about there being no rules, so how can they be banned because they didn't do anything wrong, because nothing's wrong because there are no rules.

Be blunt. Say that people are expected to behave well, and that if you think they aren't behaving well then they'll get one warning, then be thrown off.

Make it clear that you are a benevolent dictator.

[curej]

I was just going to make up the rules as I go along. I expect my users to exercise normal standards of good behavior or else incur my inevitable wrath :)

Besides, how am I supposed to figure out all the rules at the beginning. I don't know what direction the site is going to take even a month from now?

I understand your point but I'm afraid it requires me to make decisions about things before the paint is dry.

[RiderOfGiraffes]

Not at all - I'm saying not to make up rules at all. Watch the behavior, and if you think something is inappropriate, say so. Then if it continues, say so again, and take action.

The TOS should be something like:

    It's impossible to say clearly exactly what is and
    is not appropriate behavior.  Be nice, play nice,
    and don't be evil.  If I think you're behaving
    badly I'll tell you.  If you keep doing so you'll
    be barred.

    I intend to be fair and just.
    My decision is final.