| > A lot of the accusations of misogyny were well founded, but there were also a lot of people who genuinely just did struggle with why they couldn't meet people, and who wanted to genuinely improve. Agreed > and there are lots of ways of framing the non-manipulative, non-creepy parts of a lot of dating coach advice in ways that nobody would consider misoygynist. Yea, agreed One issue is that pickup artists always framed it as men seducing women. But quite frankly, most ideas would also work the other way around. I remember talking to some dating coaches who strongly disagree with me but they view women too much as women and men too much as men, whereas my view is that we’re humans first and our sex/gender second. Viewing things in such a gendered way was a factor for misogyny. Back in the day, I coached a woman to be better at dating. I taught her what I knew and she took her own spin on it and had tons of fun. Just some examples as to what is interchangeable: 1. Being playful 2. Emotional intelligence 3. Good style 4. Cold approaching 5. Disqualification technique (e.g. what work do you do? I’m a hermit in the woods and sing to birds all day - when you are clearly not) 6. Open body language, and the concept of tonality, body language and non-verbal communication in general 7. Good logistics such as having a place of your own, moving a date to a second or nth location etc. (this just requires planning) 8. Being able to signal intent at the right time (I do it 10 to 60 minutes after when the playful vibe is clearly established) Women can do these things too, and it works. This is just from the top of my dome. There are many more examples. Such as being optimistic, adventurous and genuinely yourself (I know sounds contradictory, it’s a long topic but yeah works for women who want to seduce men too). I wouldn’t be surprised if all of this also works for gay/lesbian people but I never thought about that. |