[digitaltrees]

I am definitely of the same generation. I notice my mom will praise my kid’s intelligence while we praise their effort. But I’ve definitely noticed my son responds to praise about ability more than my daughter and likely would appreciate more praise than her.

What did you notice and what were the consequences of the strategy of praise. I’d like to learn from your experience.

[genxy]

I really enjoyed this 'Newel of Knowledge' video on how to deliver praise w/o triggering someones BS detector https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C-ZE601hf28

tl;dw celebrate don't manipulate.

I have noticed that my daughter responds so much better to compliments like, "I am really impressed how you handled situation X, you stuck up for yourself in a way that doesn't alienate yourself with your friends. I know how hard that is to do well ..." When I give the reason for the praise it doesn't come off, intended or not as "you did good for a kid." I don't do it everytime, but sometimes the praise works to give another reflective or metacognitive pass over the event.

[frankosaurus]

Praise is a verbal activity. And while words definitely matter, I think holistic encouragement is needed. Pats on the back, hugs, and periodic ambient physical presence when the kid is working on a new skill.

Children the Challenge chapter 3 discusses encouragement.

All this stuff should be done tastefully and without being overbearing. Like the previous poster said, it's a balance.