|
There's this TV series, Doctor Who. Its two most recent seasons have been produced in partnership with Disney. The latest Doctor's era started with a Christmas special. The episode is told from the perspective of Ruby, his soon-to-be assistant, who appears to be troubled by a suspiciously consistent streak of really bad luck in her life. The Doctor is first shown as a mysterious figure suddenly showing up out of nowhere to catch a glass that Ruby just dropped at a club before it reached the floor, just to disappear a moment later without any introduction. He makes an impression of some "fairy godmother"-style character that stays hidden in the background, pops up to help Ruby and disappears immediately afterwards. Some time afterwards Ruby gets into a really serious trouble and the Doctor finally steps in to triumphant music to save the day and starts fully interacting with Ruby. Pretty common and effective way to do a build up to an introduction of a mysterious character, you'd say. Except... there's one extra scene with him placed in between. As a yet another instance of Ruby's mysterious bad luck, a huge promo installation depicting a snowman is about to fall from a building's elevation onto the taxi she's riding in. She's completely unaware of the danger, but of course, the Doctor is there in the background to save her again; he makes the traffic lights switch faster so the taxi is already gone before the snowman falls. However, that's not the end of the scene - it appears that the snowman will now fall onto some pedestrian who now entered the crossing, who appears to be a mother with a child in a baby stroller. The Doctor rushes to push her away, the snowman falls onto him instead, though it turns out to be empty inside so he isn't harmed after all and the stroller turns out to be filled with Christmas presents rather than a baby. A policeman shows up, questioning the Doctor for a bit about what just happened there. The Doctor introduces himself in a short conversation with the policeman before he goes away. I was quite baffled while watching that scene and once I finished that episode I kept wondering what was it about. I couldn't see the point of it, it wasn't telling us anything new that we didn't already knew about Ruby, the policeman is nowhere to be seen again either, it only seemed to diminish the later scene when the Doctor finally gets into the action properly and steals the spotlight. You can't successfully build up to an exciting entrance when you just had another less remarkable entrance already. It also felt out of place as this one moment wasn't being told from the Ruby's perspective anymore - the taxi with her inside was already far away. He still introduces himself to Ruby later on, so you could just cut that scene entirely and no value would be lost. In fact, I'd say you would actually add some value this way, as it felt to me that the episode would simply flow better without that scene. Fast forward some time and I stumble onto commentary track of one of the episodes. Here I hear the episode's writer (and showrunner) talking a bit about how the collaboration with Disney goes. He says that he has plenty of creative freedom and Disney is rather off-hands, but they do come back with some notes from early screening panel testing that he isn't required to act upon but which he considers useful regardless. As an example, he mentions that the Christmas special episode got some early feedback from Disney during production - it took quite some time for the episode to introduce the main character and the test audiences were getting impatient, wanting him to be introduced earlier. The writer then concluded that he decided this feedback makes perfect sense, so they did late shoots to include an additional introduction scene - the one I described above which existence baffled me while watching. This explained everything: the Doctor's triumphant entrance was clearly meant to be the moment of his big reveal, but now it just wasn't anymore, all because of applying seemingly reasonable feedback that was meant to make the episode better. This is kinda what applying LLM feedback to your writing feels to me. You see some argument being made and it makes sense when you think about it, so you apply the proposed changes, forgetting about what made you write it the way you did it in the first place. In the end, the result gets worse for one reason or another. You "fix" things that were actually load bearing and allowed the reader to connect with your thoughts better. |