How do you deal with sending emails? When I was self hosting my emails would be flagged by Gmail (or any other email providers) so I effectively only had a self hosted inbox, which sucks
Dont use a random IP to host? I use fastmail, even though they're trying to convince me that I need to pay ~$45 now instead of $5/year.
And they sent me an email explaining how grateful I should be, that I'm grandfathered in to being able to use my own domain on a "plan" they dont even offer., in a plan that didn't offer custom domains.
Well how'd I get all that then? I signed up for fastmail explicitly because $5/yr for custom domains.
Anyhow if you pay a host you're probably fine. Or find someone with an old /24 thats had a /31 or /32 unused for a long while, and no other black marks against the /24. And use that IP, set up demarc and all the other new email DNS stuff.
My setup is more complicated than it needs to be for $reasons (I like playing with networking protocols, have my own v6 prefix and ASN etc. and my mail and other important personal services are hosted across multiple sites for redundancy), but any competent VPS host that offers you a static IP - coupled with some DKIM, SPF and DMARC configuration that will take an afternoon - should solve the problem. I rarely touch my home setup and it works fine; mail doesn’t go to reputation black holes and it’s been like this (literally) for decades. I invest in architectural tweaks and improvements perhaps every 5 years.
I do run similar infrastructure professionally for a living, which probably helps with getting it right first time. Competent VPS hosts care about IP reputation for mail; e.g. Hetzner only allows outbound port 25 for “trusted” customers, which somewhat helps with abuse reports. Some hosting providers may even let you relay via their own outbound hosts if you have a VPS with them, which simplifies the operational aspect.
I rarely need to send from the catch all address, but Postfix can easily be configured to allow my user to send from other addresses, and then it’s just a case of adding as an alias in your mail user agent.
I was worried about not being able to send emails, but is seems that as long as you setup properly SPF/DKIM/DMARC you're fine. You may have problems if using a domestic address though.
For the configuration, the best bet is probably to use a product that makes it easy to configure the above three, there are a few alternatives around, like Stalwart [1] or docker-mailserver (which is little more that your postfix/dovecot/rspam combo packaged in a container) [2]
And they sent me an email explaining how grateful I should be, that I'm grandfathered in to being able to use my own domain on a "plan" they dont even offer., in a plan that didn't offer custom domains.
Well how'd I get all that then? I signed up for fastmail explicitly because $5/yr for custom domains.
Anyhow if you pay a host you're probably fine. Or find someone with an old /24 thats had a /31 or /32 unused for a long while, and no other black marks against the /24. And use that IP, set up demarc and all the other new email DNS stuff.