[inglor_cz]

Most cannot live alone and their parents have to take care about a huge, powerful 100 kg baby that needs constant attention until its death.

My friend from elementary school has had a Down kid at 19. She takes it well, but managing a grown-up man five times as strong as her (she is petite) when he decides to do something like "take his bicycle and ride on a busy highway" is exhausting.

This is why most people abort Down fetuses.

[fabbbbb]

Does this make sense to you and her? Does she wish the kid would not have been born?

[inglor_cz]

She is the sort of very optimistic and energetic person that she does not mind most of the time. But she is a bit sad about her decision not to have any other children - her first kid was just too much to handle, and she wouldn't be able to take care of another one, even if healthy.

This is also a hidden cost of having a Down's baby - given how exhausting the care is, other kids either get less attention, or don't get born at all.

Also, the father skedaddled. Allegedly this happens quite often with unhealthy kids...

[StefanBatory]

I knew people who had to take care of their children for their entire life, since they never grew up mentally above 6-years old kid.

Answer I heard is hushed "Yes".

[darkwater]

Are you willing to deny her also the right to that thought?

I'm not in favor of eugenics but you started from there and now you are sounding "pro-life" each time more as you write more messages in the thread.

[akie]

Such an inconsiderate and loaded question.

Screening an embryo that could not survive outside the womb and deciding to stop the pregnancy based on the results is not the same as "wishing the kid wasn't born".

[fabbbbb]

What are you talking about? Down Syndrom LE is 60 years.

[nkrisc]

And in some cases that means 60 years of support that needs to be provided. I can understand why some people would not choose that.

[Gareth321]

I'm sure she wishes her child had not been born with a debilitating disorder which usually requires a lifetime of care and comes with major health issues and suffering.

[teruakohatu]

In my country people with Down syndrome often live in housing together in suburban areas, with a social worker keeping an eye on things (independent living) or a carer available 24/7. They do sports, catch the bus, go to neighbourhood bbqs etc.

Your depiction of a person with downs is not representative of the majority.

[Gareth321]

I think yours is not representative of the majority. Most places in the world can't afford dedicated carers, dedicated villages and housing, dedicated services, etc. [66-70% of Down's syndrome sufferers cannot live independently.](https://www.dscba.org/files/content/DS_functional_milestones...) Further, [11% cannot feed themselves, 26% cannot dress themselves, 29% cannot use the toilet themselves, and 52-54% cannot shower or bathe themselves.](https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3425/11/8/1012)

It gets worse. People with Down’s syndrome face all kinds of health issues. *Half* are born with heart defects. They have higher risk of hearing loss, vision problems, sleep apnoea, thyroid disease, coeliac disease, digestive problems, epilepsy, infections and leukaemia. They also have elevated risk of dementia later in life.

This is a hellish existence which no one would wish on their worst enemy. It's hell for the sufferers and it's hell for the family.

[Forgeties79]

I’m fairly certain your depiction is not representative of the majority experience throughout the world.

I can’t say for 100% certain but I struggle to believe what you’re describing is more common than not. That strikes me as a level of support provided by the state that most people with ds - and their family - do not enjoy throughout the world.

[teruakohatu]

> I can’t say for 100% certain but I struggle to believe what you’re describing is more common than not.

This is absolutely common in New Zealand.

I think treating people with dignity, respect and part of the community is as important as state financial support.

Our government will also subsidise wages in certain industries for people with certain disabilities. So it’s common for people with intellectual disabilities to be working at supermarkets.

[Forgeties79]

Never questioned if it was common in New Zealand. I’m sure some countries have great support, and others do not. But in the aggregate, most people in the world simply do not have that level of support. So the conversation needs to be calibrated with that in mind.

Remember the original context here: someone talked about what they experienced and then you came in questioning it saying how wonderful the support you see is, then said what they experienced is not the majority experience, when the reality is quite the opposite actually. The support you are seeing is what is actually uncommon worldwide. New Zealand is exceptional here.

[nkrisc]

New Zealand, probably among the bottom half of countries based on population, so quite likely what you’re describing is not the majority experience. It’s probably rather rare worldwide.

[inglor_cz]

I am not an expert on Downs kids to know how majority looks like (are you?) Here in CZ, I knew of one preCovid cafe that employed adult Downs as waiters, and they absolutely needed supervision most of the time - cannot take the complicated Prague public transport alone. Maybe it is different in rural settings where there is just one bus line that never changes its course.

That said, prospective parents usually don't make their decisions to abort or not to abort on an expected median outcome, but some of the more pessimistic-but-realistic scenarios.

[dana-s]

> In my country > Your depiction of a person with downs is not representative of the majority.

It may be for a different country, both experiences are valid to hear. In my country as far as I know it doesn't happen like yours.