[watwut]

People sometimes throw this one out as if having real friends, contact with kids, relationships or hobbies outside of work was something only asocial people engage with. Only people who dont understand relationships are somehow capable of having them. When I put it like this, suddenly it sounds absurd, but that is literally your argument.

So, I have enough experience to go meh on this rationalization too. Nah, you can have trust, alliances and human relationships without moving all the hobby and relax time to work. Not just "can" in an abstract theoretical term, but they simply happen.

You can design the workplace so that the above is impossible, but that is the deliberate choice. The idea that you need to spend 12 hours a day in the workplace to be liked is a product of kind of management trying to create a cultish culture. Sometimes because they are lonely, sometimes because the frauds they want to happen are easier that way. But, it is not something that becomes a necessity in healthy workplace with various people. And people who are capable to keep relationships dont need that to have them.

And conversely, people with issue in the relationship department need them as a clutch, but then pretend it is necessary for work.

[bonoboTP]

Yes, you need a happy medium. I know complainers who do zero socialization, never stay for social events even once per month, never join a Friday beer (sure, you can drink alcohol free) etc then complain they are overlooked. Humans are humans. Work and life is an artificial separation from the last few decades. It was never a concept before.

I'm not talking about doing all your hobbies in the office and staying 4 hours more than your official hours just shmoozing every day.

Working effectively with people requires some level of personal connection, whether that's shared lunches, chatting over coffee etc. Some just want to plug their earbud in and clock out at 5, and insist to only spend time by typing code in the IDE. I'm saying that this won't work, no matter how they complain online. Humans are social, you have to deal with it.