As trivial as that example is, it boggles my mind just how large the scale gets of things about me I do not fully understand or cannot explain. It feels different than losing track of what I just did, because a memory of it seemingly never existed to lose in the first place. For example, as much as I can try to reason about executive dysfunction, I cannot seem to understand the real actual equation that results in me being willing or not to do something. It just feels like my own brain disagrees with me, and that's so frustrating, and I've been trying to rationalize it for years but in the end I just do not know, and likely cannot know.
It's not even trivial to identify what it is exactly I'm not aware of. There's just some pattern I don't like, and the factors that influence it are a mystery. I've discovered some things over the years that seem to correlate with it, but nothing that truly explains or remedies it.
It's not even trivial to identify what it is exactly I'm not aware of. There's just some pattern I don't like, and the factors that influence it are a mystery. I've discovered some things over the years that seem to correlate with it, but nothing that truly explains or remedies it.