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by mminer237 10 days ago
Not that either is great, but there is a world of difference between saying "a 16-year-old can marry another 16-year-old if the couple and both sets of parents agree" (an often a judge too) and saying "a 12-year-old can marry a 30-year-old against her will".
2 comments
atmavatar 10 days ago
Alas, several states still lack minimum ages, so your 30-on-12-year-old scenario is still quite possible in the US.

Particularly disturbing is how much pushback there was to the recent Oklahoma bill to finally end child marriage two weeks ago. Thankfully it passed anyway, but the state house vote was 51-36. Some of the quotes from the house members voting against the law are rather chilling, e.g.:

    “This was a vote in favor of parents rights over government overreach. It’s possible that some people are comfortable with the government overriding parental decisions, but I’m not one of them. To vote yes on this is a vote to let the government dictate how to parent your children.”
    - Rep. Clay Staires (R-Skiatook)
Prior to that, it was one of the aforementioned states without a minimum marriage age (in the case of pregnancies), so it was semi-common for families to force girls to marry the much older men who'd impregnated them.

AFAIK, California, Mississippi, and New Mexico still lack a minimum age for marriage.

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rendx 8 days ago
If the law permits it, a 12-year old has no other choice but to agree to whatever their parents want. It is well documented that children dissociate to keep an image of "good parents" alive, regardless of their action. Very few 12-year olds -- or 16-year olds -- will break with their families over this, and even then the break will psychologically haunt them forever. This is how you breed violence, and we need to stop lying to ourselves and others about it.

The cited report states that some cases in the United States involved children as young as 10. The average age gap (not mean age gap) across all 300,000 cases is ~4 years older for the male. I understand they pick extraordinary cases, but a single case is sufficient to understand why this is not working. "This is not the majority of cases" is a misdirection.

"He was aged 18. Mandy was 12. His grooming and abuse continued for years, fully sanctioned by Mandy’s mother, who spoke of God’s plan. He proposed to her four years later, and she tried to say no. After exhausting every possible way to escape what her parents were forcing her to do, she ran away, but as a minor, she had no power. Her parents were able to force her back home and into marriage." https://www.unchainedatlast.org/united-states-child-marriage...

That aside, there are plenty of developmental psychology arguments why you should not allow children to marry at 16; even if they wanted to and did it out of their "free will" (whatever that may be at 16). You will, again, breed dysfunctional families, and (not only) domestic violence.

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