[thesamethrowawa]

Good luck to you. I did something similar, with a big list of projects on my backlog (including a game) and just burned out in a totally different way after 8 months. I found for me, I cannot do things in a vacuum, it has no meaning. There needs to be a deadline, an urgency, a customer problem... otherwise it all just felt pointless.

I ended up coming back as a contractor, but have repeated the cycle 3-4 times since then. It's a strange one.

[sph]

Maybe I know what you mean: after burning out 6 years ago, I have managed to dedicate 3-4h per day to work, and I didn’t know what to do with all the free time I had. It was excruciating. It made my recovery longer than it had to be. After reading a lot of philosophy and being patient with myself, I have found a source of creativity within me that regular office hours had completely eradicated in my adult years.

All this to say, a person trained to work for someone else 40 hours a week for all their adult life is not able to self-direct and find meaning without a lot of introspection and readjusting.

[vankusss]

Your last sentence resonates deeply with my current experience. Would you care to expand a bit more on what helped you find a way to self direct and find meaning within yourself?

[sph]

I hoped no one asked because I'm not sure I have an easy answer. When I'm saying it's taken me 6 years to get out of burn out, I'm not joking. That, which includes 2 years sabbatical and as many years in therapy.

My only advice is: if you burn out, go through the entire process. You only get one chance to figure out what actually is meaningful to you, and the answer will most likely require you to upend you life (or you wouldn't have burned out in the first place). Read Carl Jung: he did a lot of research on midlife crises, and the enormous significance of middle age (the 30-40 years old range) in our quest for meaning.

In my very personal case, meaning was figuring out I'm meant to build things, on my own, at my own pace, and I owe the world to gift it with the vision that only I possess. Meaning for me happens to be one part about becoming a fully creative person, and one part about being selfless with my work, for I am not entitled to the result (see karma yoga). Your mileage might certainly vary.

Feel free to send me an email if you want to talk more about it.

[vankusss]

Thank you for taking the time to answer. I didn't expect an easy answer, I'm quite sure there is none. Glad you found your way, I'll start mine with Jung's books, thanks.