[Ukv]

> you are now responsible for [...] there’s no way I’m self hosting my passwords

You don't need to host anything new or take on any patching responsibilities for anything you weren't before. I already had an FTP server, so put it on there. Wherever you already access arbitrary files across devices (you didn't answer what you do for files outside of your filetype-specific subscriptions, but I'd assume you just have iCloud or something) should work fine.

Not that there are zero reasons to use a SaaS password manager, just that I disagree Keepass is somehow insecure or prohibitively technical for regular users. The solution a lot of people already seem to gravitate towards (if not just password reuse) is "passwords.txt on Google Drive".