[outside2344]

A wise boss of mine, after reading a set of threads that I wrote like this, asked me to go think for a day on the difference between "being right" and "being effective."

Some of the things you say in these threads might be "right" but I can assure you that many of them are not effective, which is counterproductive to the goal you are trying to achieve.

[sanity]

I prefer to say what I believe to be true rather than live in fear of how people looking to take offense might misconstrue something.

A culture where people are expected to constantly self-censor to avoid bad-faith interpretations is unhealthy and corrosive.

[trinsic2]

This reminds me of something someone said. Something about assume everyone is coming from a place of good intent. Even if they are not, you can communicate with people more effectively without bringing in a form of bias that ends up infecting everything.

Just because you have a belief about something doesn't make it right to always assume the worst from people and that you always have the best answer.

I tend to avoid people that don't come from a place of good faith. And I feel that attacking people because you might be right about something is coming from a place of bad faith and isn't always the best course of action. There is a place for that, when it comes to your freedom being violated or something, but when it comes to having discussions with people, we are all human. Ego can be a determinant.

[KaiserPro]

> I prefer to say what I believe to be true rather than live in fear of how people looking

Again, as we are wondering into tumblr style debates here (ie not listening and just saying what you think they said)

There is a difference between being "right" and being "effective"

Or to put it another way: "perfect is the enemy of good"

However I will break it down a bit more. You agree with me that there is such thing as a horizon of "acceptable opinion" for people? Some have larger windows, some much narrower.

If we agree on that, I would ask, what happens if someone goes in hard (rhetorically) with a viewpoint that is outside of "acceptable opinion"? You begin to discount their opinion, regardless of evidence. Or it requires a much high bar to accept _any_ opinion from that person.

Which leads back to the original point, you may be correct, but you are unable to persuade anyone else that you are correct, because you are not speaking the same language and gently pulling them to your viewpoint.

Hence the "you can be right, or you can be effective"