[verelo]

A good Tl;dr; is never a bad thing in a world where everyone is being pulled in different directions for attention. I agree with you for the most part, but after reading the post, it's a mess and could do with a clear summary at the top...hell, even an index of relevant sections and sub-headings.

[tombert]

I feel like especially when someone is asking something from me, they sort of have an obligation to make it clear, early on, what they're actually asking for.

Tangential but related; when I used to work for BigCo, I would get old acquaintances message me on LinkedIn. They would act like they're really interested in my life and I'd interact, and then after a day or two they would ask me for a referral for a job, I'd do it, and then they wouldn't be all that interested in talking to me anymore.

I wouldn't have had a big problem if they had just messaged me and asked for the favor, but I do find it pretty irritating that they're pretending to be my friend just to get a favor. I don't need more friends, I have plenty. Hitting the "refer" button and uploading a resume takes ten seconds of work on my end, but wasting my time with a pretend conversation takes considerably longer.

Nowadays when I ask for a favor from a friend or acquaintance I pretty much immediately ask for it. I might still want to converse with them afterward, but I figure it's better to lay my intentions out on the table immediately so there's no false expectations.

[TheGRS]

That is the way to do it. And IMO it should extend to all business communication. I hate getting "hey" in my DMs with no other context. Like...."hey? whats up?". Just get to the point, the day is too busy for this.

[tombert]

Yeah, if you're doing something asynchronous, exploit that fact!

When I message someone on Slack, I usually do something like "Hey! I was wondering if you could help me with..."

There's no need to add an extra blocking factor with this.

There's a manifesto for this: https://nohello.net/en/