How to denounce a colleague?

[Giszmo]

A friend has a situation. A co-worker repeatedly said stuff in front of clients that are complete no-goes insulting the clients and disqualifying other colleagues the clients depend on. My friend works closely with this colleague and they normally act as a team of two so there are no other witnesses. How can he act to protect the company from damage done by this colleague without taking damage himself?

[pukka_my]

I think 'denounce' might be a bit strong. Your friend should start by asking his colleague if he can provide some 1:1 feedback (guidelines here aren't bad, key is to be specific about behaviors: http://www.dummies.com/how-to/content/giving-constructive-fe...), and if nothing changes he should voice his concern to his manager.

[Giszmo]

Thanks for the link. It has some good tips but I guess it's indicative of how hard it can be to give direct negative feedback that even your book on the subject doesn't provide one example of how to give negative feedback. I'm not sure if talking with that person is an option. My picture of him is a narcissistic person that is not susceptible to criticism. My friend will try to get a recording ("for the minutes") of the next meeting. Without proof, talking to the manager could also back-fire.

[blakdawg]

The problem does not lie in "giving negative feedback", the problem lies in your friend's feelings about their self-worth and self-esteem, which are apparently impaired, given their inability to respond to a relatively common interpersonal situation. The recording and "proof" are likely to be useless, or to be used against your friend as evidence of some sort of personal grudge.

Chances are, "that person" will be your friend's supervisor pretty soon - so perhaps your friend should buy them some nice Christmas gifts and practice sucking up.

[lsiebert]

Your friend shouldn't be looking at denouncing the issue, but at changing the behavior. He should be looking at how to present changing behavior in a way that will appeal to his co-worker. You can have him read Getting to Yes or How to Win Friends and Influence People