[ktm5j]

Do folks have a suggestion for a Facebook alternative? I'm about fed up with the state of things, but still want to feel connected to social circles (even if they're online only) and politics (ideally without the hate spam bots).

[tejohnso]

If you have the option of moving people off of facebook, how about a slack or discord group?

If they won't move off of facebook, I'm not sure there's anything you can do to retain the same level of interaction. Maybe you could allow yourself a reduced level of interaction while still feeling connected. For example, an SMS every couple of days should be plenty enough contact to keep up with any significant events. If you really want to take the reins, you could organise events yourself, ensuring you won't miss them.

[forshaper]

The software is never the issue with this, it's where people are that's the problem. Though I did witness my age-peer friend groups finally switching to Signal in the late 2010s (away from Facebook Messenger), I don't actually know what convinced them. The security-conscious minority element had been pushing it since it started but were generally mocked. I think it finally showed up in a New York Times article, which is what helped them.

[Pay08]

I'm curious why WhatsApp isn't much more popular in the USA. Is it the lack of anonymity?

[Cider9986]

No, I don't see any indication it has anything to do with the "anonymity". Very few people, even technical people care about anonymity to the extent that they try to achieve it in everyday life.

It is frequently confused with privacy, however. (https://www.privacyguides.org/en/basics/why-privacy-matters/)

iMessage is the dominant messenger because most people have iPhones combined with the fact that SMS has long been free and unlimited, so people don't see the problem of using it with the occasional Android user.

Really, it's all about the defaults. Even though everyone uses iPhones, they still use the calling feature from their cellular provider, because Apple doesn't push FaceTime as the default calling mechanism.

Signal is gaining popularity because there are people that care about using it over iMessage.

Signal is 100x better than WhatsApp, but it feels so unstable using any centralized messenger that has complete control over the software and the users. No centralized service can truly be relied on, non-profit or for-profit. But clearly that's what has to happen in order for the service to become mainstream, so it's an acceptable compromise for me. It's not like I can't say Signal does great things for privsec and metadata reduction.

[stvltvs]

The trick is to get your friends and family to jump ship with you.

[jjulius]

I jumped ship, and the friends and family who are important to me are still on the ship, by and large.

Yet I've never felt as though I'm missing out. We communicate via alternative forms (texts, calls, hanging out in person) and I have never felt disconnected.

The whole trope about people being worried about missing out is misplaced - that feeling is exactly what these products are designed to imbue in their users. Ultimately, if you value others, you'll make the effort to connect somehow, and if they value you, they'll return that energy. If that two-way street doesn't exist, if they're not willing to give back a similar effort, then why do we need to know what they're doing or thinking every day?

[stvltvs]

I largely agree, but this discounts the personal value of keeping contact with weaker connections that we don't talk with often but still have some concern for.

[thinkingtoilet]

[flagged]

[krapp]

I mean, you're commenting in text format on a web forum to strangers using pseudonyms right now. Why is that valid but the use of social media isn't?

[thinkingtoilet]

Not really. No infinite scroll. No personalized algorithm. No insane levels of tracking. To compare this to facebook or tiktok is incredibly dishonest.

[krapp]

You didn't mention any of those. You mentioned "real human connection," yet the connections here are no more or less "real" than on facebook and tiktok.

"I've never had a social media account on any platform and I have plenty of friends and an active social life." Yeah, most people who use social media also have plenty of friends and an active social life.

You seem to not comprehend that there is actual utility to social media for many people, or that most people using social media aren't touch-starved incels or lonely basement dwellers or whatever.

But to answer OP's question since no one else will - maybe try Fediverse alternatives like Mastodon or Friendica.

[ktm5j]

I will do as I please, thanks.

[amanaplanacanal]

You asked for a suggestion, they gave you one. And this is your response?

[ktm5j]

Are you serious? He didn't answer my question, he jumped all over me judging my choices and insinuated that I don't get enough real life human interaction.. so yes that's my response.

[jjulius]

Yes, OP did - the alternative to social media is not more social media, which is a view shared by many. OP didn't judge you, they stated their opinion and asked you to soul search.

If you truly feel that judged and offended, and I say this with kindness, perhaps you would do well to ask yourself why.

[senordevnyc]

Haha, they didn't say they were offended, they just rejected the (clearly judgmental and off-topic) advice. They specifically asked for a Facebook alternative, including for online-only social groups they find important, so the advice to "just do real human connection without social media" is pretty useless. And shit like "Is it so important to share a photo with strangers?" is clearly judgmental and dismissive.

Loved your little passive aggressive encouragement to look inward though. So kind.

[ktm5j]

Wow okay, whatever you say man..

[buellerbueller]

This is an insane response.

[ktm5j]

I asked for social media options and dude went on a self entitled rant saying I shouldn't want social media. I feel like my response was rather level headed considering what I wanted to tell him to go do, but maybe that's just me.

[chadgpt3]

What do you use it for? There's never a single alternative to a social media platform the way there is for say online shopping - the experience isn't fungible. But you may be able to find another platform to fulfil the same purposes.

[latexr]

Social is where the people are. If you’re using Facebook to keep in touch with friends and family, the only viable alternative is wherever your friends and family are. Chances are it’s going to be impossible to switch everyone (or even most people) over, so you’re stuck if you care about those connections.

Or you can do what I did and simply say “fuck it”. Get rid of your account anyway and deal with the consequences. I don’t even have WhatsApp (because, you know, Facebook) but don’t feel like that’s been a detriment to my social life. The people I care about understand and I see most of them on the regular. SMS and phone calls still work. I do know some people who live abroad that fortunately I can communicate via iMessage, but if that weren’t an option then email would have to do. I've been doing this for over a decade and while there was some friction at first, it’s been long since it has been an issue. It probably helps that these days most people understand that avoiding Meta is a good thing.

If you don’t care about people you personally know in your social media, then pick whatever you want depending on features. I recommend Mastodon. It has quirks (what doesn’t) but it’s fine. Chronological (not algorithmic) time-line, open-source, you can even subscribe to people with RSS feeds. If there’s someone you’d like to follow from e.g. Bluesky, there’s often a Mastodon bot for their posts. Or you can subscribe via RSS there as well.

[ktm5j]

Thanks for the reply.. yeah I might just be at the "fuck it" point. I've done that before and it always makes me feel healthier (calmer, sleep better, etc).

[buellerbueller]

The offline world is where the people are.

Social is where the accounts are, many of which have a nonhuman substrate with the goal of coercing alignment out of you.

[latexr]

I don’t understand the point of the pedantry. Obviously I was talking about people you know personally that you know are not bots, and obviously I prefer and advocate for connecting with those you interact with offline. I don’t see how you can read my comment in good faith and take anything else from it.

[buellerbueller]

It's quite simple: on socials, you don't get just what you want. You get what the algo wants you to want. "Social is where the people are" is naive and polyanna.

[microtonal]

Mastodon has been great for me to follow niches I'm interested in.

[buellerbueller]

For the politics part: join and volunteer for a local political party, even a small one, that aligns with your views.

[dfxm12]

Group text? Individual texts/calls? Setting up a monthly codenames game or book club, etc.?

[outside1234]

Bluesky

[Pay08]

Bluesky both isn't an alternative to Facebook and is generally terrible too.