I know this was a joke, but if you’re having trouble meeting someone who shares your values, maybe try looking in different places than you would expect (they don’t have to share your interests, that’s less important than you would think as long as you can bend to each other) or reevaluating what you think your “type” is. Many people chase a certain type of person, and only after they end up with someone totally different do they realize that their attraction to that type was some kind of pathology, perhaps replaying trauma from childhood.