I don’t know if it’s by LLM generation or just contemporary style, but I find the style of omitting the subject from sentence after sentence after sentence unreadable. Once is fine. Six in a row is insufferable.
The only full colons are in the headings, and there are no semicolons whatsoever. For embedding a large volume of factual info in prose, these are irreplaceable.
I think what gets me most about both LLM-generated and LLM-inflected writing is the sheer laziness. You don't even have to hand-edit this stuff! Even feeding your spewed output through a slightly more human-sounding model (Palmyra Writer is halfway decent) is an improvement. Just don't take it straight out of the box.