[cullumsmith]

Maybe counterintuitive, but I've found that having more kids actually makes some things easier.

With 4+ children, the kids almost never come to us for entertainment. They form their own little society and find tons of ways to play and interact with each other. The little ones are just as likely to ask one of their older siblings to read them a story as they are to ask a parent, for example.

Sure, things like laundry and meals always have toil that increases with family size, but kids can start helping with such things after age 7 or so.

[rayiner]

Yes. My boys keep each other occupied at home and don’t ask to play with us at all.

[yapyap]

Isn’t that just parentifying one or more of your children and passing it off as a solution because it’s easier for you?

[cullumsmith]

The phenomenon of 1.2 children per family living a living a childhood of endless leisure until being thrust into the world of adult responsibility at age 18 was totally unknown to humanity until about 5 minutes ago.

Sometimes a kid has to wash dishes. Other times he has to read his kid brother a bedtime story. I promise, they'll survive. They might even be better off as adults, being well-accustomed to small acts of charity and self-denial.

[j45]

Not always, Children always wanting an adult to run a circus for them also doesn't let them discover creativity through bordeom.

ids who are of a similar age can be guided to have activities they enjoy playing togeter.

Parentification is having to be responsible for the feelings and actions of an adult.

[mothballed]

Yes that is how families functions, older take care of the younger to balance the load. The parent isnt a slave, everyone helps out once they're able.

[anon7000]

I was part of a verrry large family and wasn’t parentified, though it absolutely does happen.

I mean I didn’t want to play with mom, I wanted to run around in the cornfield with my brothers and play capture the flag or something. And having a chore schedule isn’t parentification.

The closest would be the oldest watching the youngers while mom & dad go on a date, but I mean we just put a movie on and there are pretty clear expectations around everything. No different than hiring a local teenager (who you know through a local family) to do brief childcare.

Parentification in my mind has to cross a line where one kid is kind of forced to always have to be responsible for raising the other kid. Like if your parents are really deadbeat and one kid actually takes responsibility.

A lot of people don't really get big families, which makes sense. You just have a different definition of “normal” for certain things because big families just HAVE to operate differently in a lot of ways, and a lot of norms we expect are products of living a specific way in your formative years. That’s just different, not necessarily bad

[tekla]

You mean a completely normal thing that 99% of the world does?

I took care of my sister when I was 7 and she was 3 because both parents worked all day.

[MagicMoonlight]

They used to dig coal, playing with their brother isn’t a hardship.

[tayo42]

Great, so 5 more years of exhaustion lol

[j45]

Nothing gets easier in life, you just get better.