[yetihehe]

I would like to know your opinions on a better one, if you have one that doesn't require several sessions with a school psychologist (I had a school psychologist at my school and she didn't do anything meaningful about bullying).

[niemandhier]

In a friends school in Denmark the teacher could decide that your family had to host a party for all the kids at the family home, so they could get to know each other better, and that was repeated until all involved parties stoped misbehaving.

[aeve890]

>that was repeated until all involved parties stoped misbehaving.

The canning would vastly shorten the time span on which all parties stop misbehaving while the bullying continues. I was bullied as a kid and the school didn't do anything. When my father tried to reason with the bully's family he discovered they were just awful, violent people, bullies, all of them. When he came home, frustrated, he sat me and said something like "uhm, well, ok, listen, I went to talk to the boy's parents and... well... the next time he bothers you just beat the shit out of him. I'll deal with the school" and the quoted the motto of my country: "by reason or by force". Some things just works faster than diplomacy and all shit get sorted out without extending the suffering for most parties involved.

[yetihehe]

Good when all parents are able to host such party. I would say that in Poland, most of parents with a misbehaving kid are barely able to throw a party for their kid and several of his/her friends. Many times people complain about the cost of school supplies for their kids already.

[niemandhier]

I think the cost of doing this as well as the time you need to invest are what puts pressure on you.

I’ll have to ask what would happen if you do not comply.

The Danish are nice people, but they really do not like if you break the social rules, so I guess it would get intense verry fast.

[yetihehe]

> The Danish are nice people

Just like I thought. I'm sure your solution would work when majority are nice people. That won't work on people who are from "lower social circles". We still have a lot of them in Poland and don't know how to make them behave better, because trying to make them behave better typically results in defensiveness about their way of life and a lot of excuses about their circumstances. They only dig their heels and start being more aggressive.

[niemandhier]

My experience with humanity is:

Most humans are nice people. Many are also overwhelmed, self absorbed and make excuses.

That general observation, for me at least, describes the world from rural Pakistan to backwater Tschechia.

The only exception were groups that had a very strong in-group out-group separation. These people always treated me with too much suspicion to express passing kindness.

[yetihehe]

> Most humans are nice people. Many are also overwhelmed, self absorbed and make excuses.

I agree, but bullies actually come mostly from that last group. Putting pressure on overwhelmed, self-absorbed or excuse-prone people in order to educate their children better won't work. I think bullying is because of lack of proper emotional education of children, it would be better to educate those parents and children in how to behave and why, but that requires resources most schools won't have and I've never seen anyone actually teaching this in schools.

[1718627440]

Then it is an even bigger deterrent. And maybe it forces people to ask their neighbors for help, which can also improve the social dynamic. People bond over helping each other.