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by temp8830 45 days ago
But the question was different: it wasn't "can I get good at this flowery small talk if it doesn't come naturally?", it was "is flowery small talk genuine care?"

I would posit that no, it is not. And it's not even unambiguously a good thing. There are plenty of cultures where people are described as cold until you get to know them, but once you do - they'd die for you. To me, that is genuine care. The American "Hiii! How ARE you? I don't actually care if you keel over and die!" approach feels fake.
2 comments
IAmBroom 45 days ago
What's fake is this concept that "How are you?" is an American thing. I get it; you probably first heard this from a comedian, and it is appealing.

Brits offer, "Cheers!", but don't actually invest in hoping you feel cheer.

Chinese say, "You good?", to which one replies, "Good." Same thing as Americans.

Etc. Greetings the world-round are typically a surface-level check on well-being, without a huge emotional investment.

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jmye 45 days ago
Giving someone, as in this thread, a genuine compliment that you mean sincerely isn't "flowery small talk" and it's sort of depressing that you think that it is.

No one in this thread is talking about your example except for you, and it would perhaps do you well to reflect on why you read things that way.

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