[shwaj]

It’s manipulative if you don’t care and pretend you do, especially to achieve a goal of your own.

It’s not manipulative if you cultivate the tendency to actually care about others, and not treat them like NPCs who are only important for your goals.

[djeastm]

>if you cultivate the tendency to actually care about others

I suppose this is the question: can caring about others be "cultivated" or is it something we do without being able to affect how much we do it?

[JohnBooty]

Like other skills it can absolutely be cultivated.

Even if one doesn't "naturally" care about others, it's also true that even from a totally selfish perspective it still kind of pays dividends to be a good person, be concerned with the welfare of the people around you, and build interpersonal connections.

There's limits to that, for sure. There are a number of biological bases for empathy. And being biological, it stands to reason that different people will have different capacities. But, it also certainly feels like a skill.

Here's another angle. A lot of people, perhaps maybe a lot of engineer types, struggle with empathy because the needs and wants of others just feel like a confusing sea of infinite possibilities. But here's a trick. At any given moment, any given human being is probably just trying to fill one of the needs on Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs.

[IcyWindows]

I think it can be cultivated.

Most people like watching movies or reading books. Other people are the main character of their own life, and I think you can learn to enjoy learning about them.