[dpark]

It’s basically “If you want to be liked, you should try to be likable.”

Is the only way to not be manipulative to be a curmudgeonly jerk?

If being pleasant means being manipulative, then indeed everyone should try to be a bit more manipulative.

[JohnBooty]

Yeah. It's only wrong if there's deception involved, or a failure to care about the needs of the other.