Hacker News new | ask | show | jobs
by soperj 44 days ago
I guess I should edit it to just compliments are my biggest red flag, and it's born out of experience. These people are looking for something either now or in the future, and this bullshit false niceness is simply their way of cultivating a network of people that they can use.
2 comments
SamBam 43 days ago
My wife is a great compliment giver. She'll walk down the street and see a person wearing a great shirt and say "Oh my God, I love that shirt! It looks so great on you!"

The other person will smile and laugh, and they'll exchange a couple other words, and then be on their way.

What do you think my wife is looking for that's a red flag?

link
soperj 43 days ago
It feels different. I did say red flag and not "People that give compliments are terrible people". Random strangers that I never see again I wouldn't really hold on to flags for.
link
crazygringo 44 days ago
I'm sorry that's been your experience. I don't know where you live; and I know this can be a cultural thing.

But in America at least, it's not usually bullshit or false. It's not a means to an end. I will compliment servers and cashiers and receptionist just because it makes everyone friendlier and we all enjoy our brief interaction more than we would otherwise. It would be nonsensical to say I was using them. For what?

I am aware that there are cultures out there where nobody does this and it is viewed highly with suspicion. It just makes me very happy I don't live in one of those places.

link
soperj 43 days ago
> I will compliment servers and cashiers and receptionist just because it makes everyone friendlier and we all enjoy our brief interaction more than we would otherwise.

It's been my experience that many of these people hate that, and that the reason they seem to enjoy it is that that's what they're trained to do.

link
crazygringo 43 days ago
I have been a server and a bartender. Everyone vastly prefers the friendly customers. The chitchat is what makes the job.

The worst thing is when people treat you like some kind of robot, like you're not even a person.

So no, nobody hates that. Unless it's some creepy dude trying to hit on a girl, but that's not what we're talking about here.

link