[jfengel]

The best photo for a dating site isn't one that makes you look good, but one that makes you look interesting. That's true now more than ever, when a very polished photo looks like AI.

A good candid is much better. It conveys something of who you actually are: what you like to wear, what you like to do, and ideally looking sincerely happy.

Women are generally less appearance-focused than men like to believe about them. Looking "fine" suffices for most women. Men are convinced that it's their appearance scaring off women, but in fact it's their personalities -- and an over-reliance on appearance is a strong indicator of an unpleasant or boring personality.

(I give similar advice to women, who are more likely to focus on their own appearance. And that's unfortunately expected of them. But at least for me, a good candid is better than a studio shot. Since the custom is usually for men to open the conversation, it helps a lot to give me an opportunity to lead with something more insightful than "Gosh you're pretty.")