I must say the reviews you have are more in the horrifying and less in the pretty funny situation. My favorite funny (and bad) review was a host that accused his guest of flipping over all the furniture in the house and the guest was like "why and how would I do this". I still want to know what happened that day. How did all the furniture end up upside down?
Find all of the ones with taxidermy in the southwest USA.... It's like all of them. Okay I did find one in Austin without, but it still had cowhide pillows.