[athrow]

> You know what the best part of being a software engineer is? You can meet and talk to people who think like you. Not necessarily the same interests like sports and TV shows and stuff. But they think about problems the same way you think of them. That’s pretty cool.

That hasn't really been my experience, for every 50 people I meet maybe 1 is here for the craft, the rest want to do 9-5, have a visibility at work, work on impactful projects but actually talk about their problems, their opinions in a deeper way - almost never.

[ruszki]

This is a post from 2021. Pre-COVID times were way more closer to what the author described, and around 2010 was even more closer. I couldn’t see it that clearly at that time that something changed regarding this, for me it was just a hunch.

For example, the number of developers who are in this field only because of money, and money alone, increased greatly. Of course, companies are also responsible to slowly kill every other incentives (and they are working to kill this one too), but the difference is stark compared to 10 or 15 years ago. And I heard that it’s more brutal compared to 2000s.

[sporkland]

I went through college around 2000 in compsci and I remember even back then noticing that there were about 10% of us that cared. The other 90% were just in it for money/prestige. The dotbomb cleared them out, but post 2009 you could see the folks creeping back in due to Facebook and co.

[ruszki]

> The other 90% were just in it for money/prestige.

I remember, that we were considered still loosers at that time. Even in early 2010s, I had discussions that how geeks are loosers. We even had several movies and series whose main topic was that geeks are loosers. Even in those where we were the protagonists. So I highly doubt that your experience is generic.

[Cpoll]

The Hollywood depiction doesn't matter if you're in a position to go to college and you're picking your major for what pays best. The only other safe bets are law and medicine, and even a freshman will realize those are much more work.

[burningChrome]

I did find this, but also the fact there is a huge sharing community. When I was in marketing, most of the people would show up, do their work and go home. Lunch was spent complaining about this new report or some new algo the sales team wanted us to be using.

On the flip side when I became a developer, it really felt more like being a part of a real community. People would show up at my desk and say, "Dude, have you seen this new plugin?" or "Man, I just found the coolest logic game, you'd love it!" or "I just started playing around with this new JS framework, have you tried it yet?"

As in, all the people I met were so genuinely interested in my opinion. Lunches were suddenly brainstorming sessions. Or someone had a problem and we'd all sit around frantically scribbling on napkins trying to solve it. Or talk about the latest conference or when DefCon was and who was going. You really felt a part of a culture in every way. The devs I got to be friends with genuinely loved what they did. It wasn't just a job, it really was something they were all passionate about. Something that consistently extended beyond the 9-5 jobs we had. Side projects were always a hot topic at gatherings and lunches.

For the first time in my career, I really was proud to be apart of the developer community at a time when everything was (and still is) changing so rapidly. Without those friends and mentors, I have no idea where I would be. It was kind of like landing at college and finally finding a place you felt you finally belonged and fit in with like minded folks.

[kirubakaran]

My trick is to go to Emacs meetups. Nobody is using Emacs for money.

[ljm]

I'm not really sure how that's exclusive to software engineers either. But OP was drunk at the time of writing so I guess they were feeling a bit lovey-dovey.

[rubslopes]

I had more luck finding "similar minds" in academia.

[ggerules]

I'll second that.

[grvdrm]

I’m with you. I find 1 or 2 people in each place, but that’s it. Quite deep connections are rare

[m463]

two things

> Meet and talk to people who think like you.

#1 I think this is true. And even if it technically isn't, you get to meet and talk to smart people. YMMV and not everyone at work.

#2 work moderates your coworkers.

work is disneyland. If there's a problem with someone, they are stupid, disruptive, directly mean or dangerous, work will mostly take care of it.

In the real world, none of this applies. So work can be nicer, but you might not have/need the skills to deal with real problems.

I recommend the book "difficult conversations" for getting along outside of work. (though it applies there too)

[JohnMakin]

That sounds like a bit of a where you're choosing to work problem