[eurleif]

The part that would violate guarantees in JavaScript is not function objects being kept alive longer, but function objects which should be distinct not being so.

    function foo() {
        return function() { };
    }
    console.log(foo() === foo()); // This must log `false` in a compliant implementation

[ragnese]

This is also a problem, IMO, in having this optimization in PHP. Anonymous functions are instances of a Closure class, which means that the `===` operator should return false for `foo() === foo()` just like it would for `new MyClass() === new MyClass()`.

But, since when has PHP ever prioritized correctness or consistency over trivial convenience? (I know it's anti-cool these days to hate on PHP, but I work with PHP all the time and it's still a terrible language even in 2026)

[tialaramex]

I never understood why people think somehow PHP is fine now, and I've had that opinion expressed several times on HN. The best I can make out is that people's expectations are so dismal now that they're like "Well new versions fixed 2 of the 5 worst problems I noticed, so that's good right?"

[cardanome]

Because PHP is a amazing backed language for making CRUD apps. Always has been.

It has great web frameworks, a good gradual typing story and is the easiest language to deploy.

You can start with simple shared hosting, copy your files into the server and you are done. No docker, nothing.

Sure it has warts but so have all mainstream programming languages. I find it more pleasant than TypeScript which suffers from long compile times and a crazy complex type system.

The only downside is that PHP as a job means lots of legacy code. It a solid career but you will rarely if ever have interesting programming projects.

[user3939382]

It’s a “terrible” language? That’s news to me. What’s “terrible” about it?

> `new MyClass() === new MyClass()`

Does that look like the code you’re writing for some reason? Because I’ve seen 100k loc enterprise PHP apps that not once ran into that as an issue. The closest would be entities in an ORM for which there were other features for this anyway.

[phplovesong]

Its bad indeed. Its unfixable at this point. We just get bolton features.

[hajile]

We could do something like `#function() {}` or `#() => {}` which makes a function static.