Moons get tidally locked because they're very close to their planet, so the planet's gravity is by far the strongest influence.
The planets have much more complicated gravitational interactions because in addition to the Sun's gravity, they influence each other. So you end up with things like orbital resonances instead.
A planet that's close to its star and far from other strong gravitational influences will tidally lock to the star.
wikipedia's explanation works for uniform bodies, yours doesn't. And since tidal bulges seem to be symmetric, there's no away to explain away the deformation as making one side heavier
The planets have much more complicated gravitational interactions because in addition to the Sun's gravity, they influence each other. So you end up with things like orbital resonances instead.
A planet that's close to its star and far from other strong gravitational influences will tidally lock to the star.