[bawolff]

Do you commonly carry those around with you? I'm not mistaking a resturant for a library, i just want to kill time until my food comes out.

Is there a reason why someone sitting by themselves reading a book on the e-reader app on their phone is more offensive than someone sitting by themselves reading a dead tree book?

[bluebarbet]

>someone sitting by themselves reading a book on the e-reader app

I was this person. Eventually I gave it up because I didn't want to be mistaken for just another screen-addled zombie with no impulse control miserably scrolling Whatsapp and Instagram.

Perhaps I have too much self-awareness but I'd argue most people have too little.

[bawolff]

> Eventually I gave it up because I didn't want to be mistaken for just another screen-addled zombie with no impulse control miserably scrolling Whatsapp and Instagram.

So you gave it up not because you are worried about being a "phone addicted zombie" but because you are worried about being precieved and judged as such?

Some would say changing your behaviour due to social insecurity is just another form of being a zombie.

[bluebarbet]

Not sure it would make me a "zombie" exactly but I agree it's an oddly incoherent position to judge the behavior of others while also being concerned about their gaze. Much introspection has not yet pierced this mystery.

[fc417fc802]

> ... I didn't want to be mistaken for ...

Who cares? They're strangers. If they want to make faulty assumptions and feel an unjustified smug sense of self superiority that's none of my business.

At this point I read ~all books on my phone as a simple matter of practicality. I'd prefer my phone had an epaper screen and grayscale page centric apps (instead of scrolling) but that's just not how things are.

[bluebarbet]

>on my phone as a simple matter of practicality

Yes, I came to the same conclusion. IIRC I read Great Expectations on the thing!

In my case scrollability was a bonus. Horses for courses.

[Acrobatic_Road]

It's not hard to bring a book with you. People did it before phones.

And I don't know what you're doing when you're transfixed by your phone and I'm not going to peer over your screen to find out.

[bawolff]

> And I don't know what you're doing when you're transfixed by your phone and I'm not going to peer over your screen to find out.

Nor should you, talk about injecting yourself into something that is none of your business.

[Acrobatic_Road]

Oh, it's everyone's business. Phones are eroding the social fabric.

[fc417fc802]

You dodged the question. You don't know what he's using his phone for. Fair enough. Is there a reason that privately looking at the screen is offensive while privately looking at a book is not?

[Acrobatic_Road]

It's a more social activity in a world that is increasingly isolated. A book is a nice conversation starter. I'm not going to come up to you and ask about what's on your little screen. Even if you're just reading an e-book the phone contributes to the perceived loneliness of those around you.

If you really want to read a book in peace, try a library.

[vile_wretch]

I don't think you're going to have many good conversations if you go around interrupting people trying to read in peace, regardless of where you do it. What a bizarre sentiment.

[tenacious_tuna]

> Even if you're just reading an e-book the phone contributes to the perceived loneliness of those around you.

This is a wild projection of your own experience onto someone else's actions.

> If you really want to read a book in peace, try a library.

I've quite enjoyed the times I've taken a book to a restaurant and read over a meal. I do not appreciate you, or people like you, dictating how I ought to act in public in a way that doesn't affect anyone else in the slightest.

I don't want to start conversations when I'm alone at a table with my book. The fact that you find it somehow less social for me to be on my phone instead of reading a book when I am minding my own business at my own table seems like a tremendous failure in your own boundaries and expectations of other people.

[Acrobatic_Road]

>This is a wild projection of your own experience onto someone else's actions.

I asked a friend who doesn't use a smartphone about how it feels walking into a room full of people with phones and he told me the same thing. I have a smartphone but I don't take it out reflexively. I don't even consider myself a very social person or an extrovert, yet it always has to be ME to start a conversation in a room full of people because they would rather stare at a screen that say a hello.

I'm going to talk to you whether you like it not. If you don't want to talk to people, then maybe don't put yourself in a social setting? Imagine entering a coffee shop and finding it dead silent. I would just go home and make some food. If you have a problem with me talking to you, go ahead tell me how much you don't appreciate it or whatever, I don't care.

[bawolff]

Maybe this is a cultural difference, but i would generally consider it incredibly rude for a random person to interupt someone trying to enjoy their meal. A resturant isn't a singles mixer.

[tenacious_tuna]

> I'm going to talk to you whether you like it not. If you don't want to talk to people, then maybe don't put yourself in a social setting?

You seem to have a strange definition of what's a social situation. Maybe I want to be around people without talking to them; if I wanted to strike up conversation with strangers, I'd sit at a bar.

You're obviously conscious of the fact that you may be doing something that people don't want, which makes it all the more confusing to me that you're upset about people possibly preferring their phones to books: if you're going to interrupt them either way and potentially invade their space, why do you care how they're signalling? (For the record, I don't think people inherently are signalling, but you seem to--it's the inconsistency in your own stated approach that's confusing me.)

[bawolff]

> it always has to be ME to start a conversation in a room full of people because they would rather stare at a screen that say a hello.

Perhaps these people just don't like you.

If you find a social interaction is entirely one sided, usually that is a sign you should take a moment to self reflect on what is going on.

[fc417fc802]

> A book is a nice conversation starter.

Do you make a habit of interrupting people who are reading? If so I can just about guarantee that you're "that guy" to the people you're doing that to.

[Acrobatic_Road]

Depends. In a library? No. In a social setting? That's fair game.

[fc417fc802]

I don't think most people view a table for one at a cafe as a social setting with regard to total strangers. It will depend of course and there will be associated social cues; reading anything be it a screen, a book, or something else is a strong cue against unsolicited social interaction in almost any context.

[jmye]

> Do you commonly carry those around with you?

I do when I’m going somewhere that doesn’t allow phones. How is this complicated or hard to understand?