[wvh]

I feel trying to codify human behaviour into simple rules is pretty tough.

Playfully rough intercourse might be the best ever, or turn out quite horrible at the wrong time; the only difference being subtle difference in mood of the parties involved. Same for using somebody as an emotional trashcan, or making a semi-offensive humorous joke about somebody. There's no objective truth.

Boundaries are very fluent and dynamic, depending on moods and trust between parties. Knowing when to give in and being able to walk those rough edges is often what makes life interesting and people good partners and friends.

[cwmoore]

I like this take. Fluid and dynamic are keys here. There are almost always fluctuating differences in power, status, preparedness, or individual goals that ought to be considered, rather than an abstract ideal equality or fixed structural relationship. The fight, flight, or freeze and other instinctive responses may defy logic but need to be tolerated and respected, and the give and take over time balanced out fairly.