Did you fight for raises? If your manager told you choose 30% to cut would you have? Of course you would, your “caring” meant nothing. Your first loyalty is to the people who decide your paycheck
And as a line level manager I don’t believe you are a “bad person”. Line level managers are “powerless”. You don’t control head count, budgets, company wide decisions to reduce staff etc
I'm on a break after getting run down in my last role at the EM / Director level, but I certainly gave a shit, and some of my directs (10-15%?) gave a shit that I gave a shit, and they're now better leaders. Most of this is from their hard work, but I gave them one possible template: genuinely care about your people. My hope is that what I spent of myself was more than made up with what they added. When you're a naive pessimist, leverage is the key multiplier of effective leadership.
one who expects the worst, yet is continually surprised when they get it. Sometimes secretly an embarrassed optimist.