[yowayb]

In 2013, I went to Pebble Beach for an expensive car show. I met a couple guys that started newlydivorceddating.com. They told me they purchased thousands of fake starter profiles, so the site wouldn't seem dead.

Tangent:

I was a "pickup artist" (2005-2010). Most of it is creepy bullshit, but the process teaches you a powerful aspect of hookup-style dating (as opposed to courting for a long-term relationship): guys need to be ok with embarrassing themselves.

I'm sure there are ways to optimize online dating, but the SNR was always bad, and it only seems to get worse.

So yea I'm encouraging guys (or whatever the current term is for the one that takes the initiative) to work thru rejection.

Of course, it's not that simple. If you simply memorize interactions that have been posted online, you'll quickly find yourself subtly outed as a weirdo.

But that feeling of rejection is important. That's how your mind+body learns in real time. It's much harder for some of us that didn't quite socialize properly at younger ages (often due to horrible things like broken families, bullies, etc).

And there are of course lighter approaches (what i described earlier often occurs within bars/nightclubs) within more casual groups that may involve more introverts.

However, if you can get over rejection (and certainly pace it; don't be a sociopath) it will dramatically accelerate so many things (many of which do lead back to dating), and you can avoid these scammy dating sites altogether (I personally find 100% guarantees like this very compelling and will regularly consider if I can can just completely avoid entire classes of stuff).

[nodesocket]

very interesting. I bought The Game 10+ years ago and read 3/4 of it. I just can’t get myself to do tactics like magic, negging, and psych-ops. Though, I will confirm it works. Seen with my own eyes many times in disbelief. Couldn’t believe women fall for what seem like such corny and ridiculous behavior. I do think women are much more socially focused, tend to follow (sheep behavior) and in a miraculous turn of events if you ignore them, or don’t show interest they want what they can’t have.

I’m in my mid forties now and frankly don’t have the energy and metal capacity to play The Game. It’s only gotten much worse (most dramatic for westerns) for more traditional and “old fashioned” men to find partners. We can thank instagram, snapchat, tiktok and perhaps most negatively onlyfans. I have traveled allover the world and find South American women still have a feminine mindset and want to genuinely settle down and start a family. Again more traditional; I assume because faith and family are such strong forces down south.

Some may read my comment as “toxic masculinity” or whatever buzzword of the day is used to shame and emasculate men, but clearly something is broken with western and asian civilizations as marriage and birth rates are plummeting.

[yowayb]

Yes "the game" is actually impossibly complex for any book to capture, and I agree much tech has made it more challenging in many ways. I do have to recognize that quite a few of my friends found their wives online.

That said, I think finding a wife in countries that tend more traditional is a great approach.

I've seen it work over and over. In one striking case, there was also very high mutual appreciation, from the guy for her traditional qualities, and from the girl for his pragmatism and diligence.

[magicalhippo]

> if you ignore them, or don’t show interest they want what they can’t have

A girl I knew told me it wasn't any fun when the guy would just do whatever to please her. She found it boring and uninteresting. Rather she enjoyed the chase, so to speak, and said she wanted to work for it.

I assume there's some variance, but I kept that in the back of my mind.

[yowayb]

Sorry I didn't mention maturity matters. "The game" is truly complex, so 2 more things:

First, nearly every western girl goes thru a "hoe" phase. This is when they're figuring themselves out. And we go thru this phase too obviously, but we still have this double-standard nonsense which blinds us to what a woman really is, so I have to call it out.

Second, you have to be cool with this. This is the importance of rejection experience. You need to go thru it, know that you're alright, and that calm goes sooo far in getting you laid/married.

Everyone makes mistakes. It doesn't help if you're visibly uncomfortable because of a mistake she made a while back. To be clear, the mistake I speak of is sleeping with shitty guys during her learning phase ("the chase").

But I like The Game and the whole pickup artist thing because it breaks down the mechanics in a way that I think is more accessible to "nerds".

The bar/nightclub excursions compress social dynamics from weeks/months to hours. It's very instructive for dating and business/job-hunting.

But the endgame is even more important. I know of at least 5 couples that started off playing the game around each other, and later married. Attractive people, just too busy banging all the other attractive friends (yea, San Francisco lol).

This is just one expression among the vicissitudes of social expression, but don't forget the fact it is also very much a numbers game (when zoomed out far enough).