[Tade0]

A friend of mine once said something that stuck with me:

"There's a dearth of people who will do what's necessary without complaining."

To me it's all about realising that there's work which needs to be done regularly, that no one else will do for you and also no one will thank you for doing.

I've been happier since I realised this myself.

[teekert]

I think it is this indeed, it’s something decidedly different between me and my kids.

I’d add that I myself had a brief period during which I went from thinking “this is hard because I’m dumb” to “this is hard because it is indeed hard”. I felt like I grew up a little in those years as well (~35-ish?). I realized that grown ups and management are all just doing “something”. There is no grander scheme, no deeper understanding behind it. Like the veil was lifted and what was behind it was a bit disappointing, but I also felt that it could not have been any other way.

Somehow this realization also made me happier. It’s all something that you could have told me before but I would have never really felt it. All these lessons need to land in fertile soil. It takes some time and experiences for the soil to be ready.

[justonceokay]

People learn this at different rates and for wildly different reasons. When I was out of college working at Amazon, I would be amazed that my colleagues seemed to lack skills like doing the laundry.

But I got kicked out of my home at 18 and it was made abundantly clear from the age of 16 onward that this would be the case. Remaining a child is a luxury that I wish everyone can experience for as long as possible

[nradov]

A guess opinions vary. Remaining a child felt like more of a punishment than a luxury.

I wasn't kicked out of my home but I had the good fortune of attending a boarding high school starting at 13. This forced me to grow up and take responsibility, while still having limited adult supervision. I wish more teenagers could have that opportunity as it helps to provide a gradual transition into being an independent adult.

[Tade0]

I draw the line at the point when someone has a stable job that allows them to pay rent. I've seen people who basically had "two youths" and they were generally unhappy.

[justonceokay]

I’m interested in your experience. I injected a “second youth” into my life when I was around 30. I found myself having saved an incredible amount and as my above post implied I had my nose to the grindstone from 16-30. I spent a few years traveling the country, learned guitar and piano, went to massage school, produced music, had some brief affairs, worked at a beeswax candle factory, bartended, partied with drugs for the first time, and spent a whole summer making friends at the beach.

I learned so much about myself and the world and I wouldn’t be in the place I am today without my “second youth”. In a sense I gave myself the college social experience but I had an additional 10 years of wisdom to rely on (don’t follow the dealer to a second location, etc.)

[Tade0]

By my definition you didn't have the first one.

Anyway, one instance:

-Graduated law school, but didn't go through the bar exam.

-Spent seven years working part time and being part of a theatre group.

-Left that in his 30s in favour of entering the workforce for real, moved abroad and had a full time job for 4 years.

-Left that job, moved back to his home country and has been coasting doing part time jobs ever since.

Plenty of people with similar stories - some of them were shaped by the 2008 economic crisis, which made several European countries enter a period of stagnation that continues to this day.

[gentschev]

Out of curiosity, what did you segue into from the second youth, or are you still in it? Those phases seem fun but potentially hard to get out of, either because you don't want to or because you've lost the legibility that employers and potentially love interests want.

[justonceokay]

Electrician. It’s not as sexy but I’m pretty sure I’ll still be doing it 20 years from now

[em-bee]

we had to help with housework as soon as we were teens. laundry, shopping, cooking, dishes, cleaning the house. i didn't live alone until i was 27, but i had all the skills needed to take care of myself. staying at home was not laziness, but simply economical. i moved out when i got a job in a distant location.