[intended]

Don’t sell yourself short.

The neutrality you are showing is more out of consideration and being unsure about the best course of action.

For someone who isn’t a trained counselor - you really just need to listen. The greatest power comes from realizing that all communication is a form of problem solving.

Your friend is rational; some prior lived experience made their current behaviors rational. Handling this is a mostly a job of figuring out what those events and rationales were, and then re-examining them.

The challenge comes from the way emotions are tied up with these behaviors. Their sense of self, shame, frustration, anger - this is where training and experience are needed.