You come to my house to have food. I serve the food on obviously unclean dishes. Is that not rude as well? Do you just use the obviously dirty, nasty, used dishes out of not wanting to appear rude?
Do I just use chopsticks that will put splinters in my mouth just to not appear rude?
In your metaphor the equivalent would be that you see that the chopsticks have splinters and are cleaning it
But everyone I met who does splinter cleanup does it _every time_ even without a cursory inspection. So the metaphor is… maybe more apt that you are cleaning a plate despite not seeing whether it’s clean or not first
Do I just use chopsticks that will put splinters in my mouth just to not appear rude?