[rickdale]

Going on 10 years, similar experience. People don't understand how much suddenness of the death affects you. What I have come to realize is that there is no right way to deal with people dealing with death. And that everyone will deal with death differently. I remember at my dad's funeral stuff the number one line I heard from people was, "if you ever need anything..." I didn't know what that meant then, or now. But its a good line.

As a side note, I was in AP comp sci at the time with only 4 other students. Our teacher was an ex marine computer programming since the punch card days and really strict and emotionless. My indian friend that was in the class with me said that it was so sad and quiet in class the next day that they could hear the teachers heartbeat. I'll never forget that line.

[groby_b]

That line means "if you need somebody, I'm here". It's there to let you know that while you have to go through this by yourself, you are not alone.

But yes, words are insufficient. Even if the other person speaking them has gone through the same pain.