[ahf8Aithaex7Nai]

Somehow, it always triggers my skepticism when supposedly sociobiological or evolutionary anthropological or evolutionary psychological arguments are brought up. My suspicion is that it is far too easy to simply pack in the story you want to have in there. I can think of dozens of objections to your description. For example, in small groups, the social game in terms of status may not be that complex, and the choice for pairings may be very limited.

I'll leave it at that because I don't want to write a novel. But when I look at your description, I don't see any plausibility at all. I only see projections. Like in The Flintstones or in old movies about Stone Age people, who have strangely short haircuts and go hunting the way people go to work today. What I mean is: the social dynamics you're assuming here may be primarily shaped by your experiences in the present and are far from as universal as you believe.

[strken]

Fair enough, but if you remove the evo psych explanation you're still left with "people don't want to look stupid in front of their peers because it might have consequences". This seems plausible to me regardless.

[ahf8Aithaex7Nai]

I still find that strange. If there’s something I don’t understand, you’ll just have to explain it to me again. If we’re pair programming and I need another minute to look at your code to understand it, then you’ll just have to put up with that minute. I’ll spend that minute trying to understand the code, but not worrying that you might think I’m stupid. If that leads you to think I’m stupid, I’d diagnose the problem with you rather than with me. There’s just no normal situation where I’m sitting among people and thinking, “Shit, I hope they don’t think I’m stupid.” I trust that the people who interact with me in everyday life will, over time, form an impression of my cognitive and intellectual abilities and my education that is reasonably consistent with my self-image.

You can’t hide your limitations anyway. I know people who have a hard time thinking logically and critically. They often do and say things that strike me as rather thoughtless or impulsive. They often think and speak in clichés, relying more on emotion than facts, mostly opportunistically, and never in a complex way. I don’t think such people are capable of reflecting on their own limitations. And I suspect that my own limitations are just as transparent to a superior intellect. Assuming that the inductive step I'm using here is even valid.

That’s why I don’t get this perspective. It sounds as if using more foreign words or wearing a button-down shirt or something like that would somehow hide stupidity. But that’s not the case. To pick up on your quote again: For me, it’s more of a red flag when I notice that someone is making a special effort to come across as smarter than they actually are. To a certain extent, we’re all stupid. We should use the resources we have to get along together in life and in the world, instead of engaging in a dick-measuring contest.

[strken]

This seems like a description of why you, in particular, aren't afraid to look stupid. I appreciate the perspective but believe that it's specific to you, your culture, your friends, your employer, and your life. The social consequences someone faces will differ based on their social group.

Bullying, in the workplace and outside it, is a real-life example of the consequences of looking stupid if you don't have supportive people around you. Workplace bullying is a real phenomenon and surprisingly prevalent[0], even though it's never happened to me.

Do you agree that someone experiencing workplace bullying would be worried about looking stupid? And do you think that someone who wasn't directly affected by it might still change their behaviour to avoid it?

[0] See e.g. https://www.safeworkaustralia.gov.au/system/files/documents/...

[ahf8Aithaex7Nai]

No objections. And I appreciate your perspective, too.

[WalterBright]

I've never encountered a person who was attracted to a stupid person.

BTW, the Flintstones is just The Honeymooners without Jackie Gleason. One could also argue that Family Guy and The Simpsons are also reboots of The Honeymooners.

> who have strangely short haircuts and go hunting the way people go to work today

"They're the modern stone age family" are the words in the Flintstones' theme song.

[pbhjpbhj]

Never heard of "bimbos"/"himbos"?

[casualscience]

Even in small groups, being respected and considered valuable is important? I'm not sure what you mean here.

I take your point, and I too get triggered when people invoke mate selection and dopamine. I could be with you in being skeptical about that specific angle... but absolutely if you look at lawless or less institutionalized cultures, there is a trend towards appearing strong/tough and hiding any weaknesses