| They grind up your skeleton, remove the dental gold, then re-name it "ashes?" That's not very "green." Why not add this to your will: 1. place my body on a pile of dynamite on an Oregon beach, and blow it up (first issue umbrellas to the funeral party.) Or, failing that... 2. Freeze my body in liquid nitrogen, sharpen my head in a giant pencil-sharpener, then drive me into the ground as a fertilizer-spike. 3. Do #2 above, but throw my sharpened body from a plane flying over farmland. Add fletching to my legs to guarantee pointy-end-downwards. 4. Cast my body in a block of solidified transparent polyester resin, then use it as a large tombstone. People visiting can watch the slow decay, until years later it's a me-shaped bubble. (Leave a little drain-channel to prevent explosion from gas pressure.) 5. Once I saw a button-mushroom entirely take over a live eggplant. Do that to my body, but with psilocybe species. Then dry, grind, and smoke me up. 6. "Resomation," but that's too too conventional. |
Ultimately I land on: there's enough 'gotchas' with decomposing human remains where I think a graveyard will do. Though, I wish the casket wasn't necessary.