I would not wish for anyone to inflict Becky Chambers upon themselves. She is a really awful writer. Interesting world building ideas, but she spends far too much time using her books to lecture the reader about morality, with all the subtlety of a Sunday School lecture.
Do you have any examples? I've read all her work, and while I'm familiar with the phenomena you describe generally, I didn't find it that notable in Chambers. Yes, some characters have neopronouns (xe/xir, iirc?), but there's no "And this is why anyone who doesn't respect pronouns is a bad person." They just are used for aliens whose genders are more complex than ours.
Maybe monk and robot has more of this, being a post industrial, solarpunk story about a tea monk bicycling across the countryside with a robot who wants to learn what humanity is?